Special Session Announced for Plecia Bill

AUSTIN — Sources at the state capital have confirmed that Governor Abbot will indeed call another special session of the state legislature. Visibly irritated at the failure to pass the bathroom bill, Lieutenant Governer Dan Patrick fumed, “The biased liberal media got this wrong again! We’ve now failed several times to pass a much needed bathroom bill that was carefully crafted to address a problem we haven’t seen, but might conceivable have some day!” Having failed at the much needed bathroom bill Mr. Patrick went on to elaborate, “Since we have no chance of protecting our citizens in the bathroom, we’ll do the next best thing. We’ll protect them any time they are outdoors in our beautiful state, where they are constantly bombarded with promiscuity and lewd behavior.” The Lieutenant Governor was referring to his proposed bill to stop public displays of affection between Plecia, also described in the liberal media as “love bugs”. MR. Patrick went on to say, “Plecia have been openly, and without any regard to human decency doing certain things, which I won’t repeat in polite company, right in front of our kids.” Recent studies published by the Austin ThinkTank, Round Rock Institute, show a direct connection between the number of hours children under 21 view lewd Plecia behavior, and tendencies later in life to copulate in public. As the Governor announced plans for a special session he made it clear why this was such a high priority, “We’ve got to nip this problem in the bud, before it becomes a problem. Certainly it is clear to all Texans that we cannot abide by this kind of unbridled, irresponsible behavior.” Liberals in the state have already been calling for a boycott of Texas businesses, and warning that passage of this bill will cause those seeking to do business in Texas to look elsewhere. They add that the solution to this possible future problem is to provide better housing for the Plecia, so they can literally “get a room” when the urge strikes them.